Campana: January 2013

It’s been a while since I have posted anything for several reasons. I have been dealing with some physical issues that have depleted much of my energy both physically and emotionally. I have been trying to recover and reclaim my health and energy since my return to the U.S. late this past summer. This has been a difficult season for me, making me wonder how I can recover and maintain my health with the schedule and demand that is now on me. I have felt old and tired many times in the last 8 months or so which has been very discouraging and concerning to me. After several cleanses, nutritional, herbal and other natural remedies, I am thankful to be able to say I am feeling a good deal better this last month, although not yet 100%.

Just a quick update to briefly fill in the gap since my last post. I finished up my time in the Philippines at the end of August. My time there was well spent, both from a clinical and personal perspectives. Experiences to learn and also some to teach, as well I met some new friends and midwives that are doing some great work serving those in need.

Currently I am back in SC working with a preceptor at a free-standing birth center. There are 5 midwives and 3 apprentices/interns. So far this has been a good experience and I am learning more about natural remedies including homeopathy. The plan is to finish up my clinical requirements (which I only have 2 more births for that to be complete), then take and pass the board exam this summer.

Most of the births I have attended since Dec. 2012 have been like a wooing to my spirit, reminding me of my love and awe of the birth process. Most of these births have been accompanied by long labors, like 24-48 hours or more (which I do NOT love….). All parties involved have been exhausted to say the least. During those long hours, days and nights I have witnessed some of the most precious intimate moments that serve as reminders for me of the sanctity of it all.

Throughout the years working with laboring women I have heard many women cry out during labor and the birth of their children. Cries of pain, fear, joy, sorrow, loss and what I have previously described as desperation. Recently though, I witnessed and experienced two mothers do something I have never seen or heard before. I guess I would define it as a kind of desperation, however not like any desperation I have ever before witnessed in a birth room. This was absolutely soul penetrating for me to witness, it was powerful and strong.

My preceptor and I had tried everything we knew to do, trying to help these women to rest when labor would wane. We kept them hydrated, got food in them to keep their energy up, tried every position possible to help their babies realign themselves and come down into the birth canal (One of the babies did come down, and then she went back up. If I hadn’t witnessed it myself I would have told you that isn’t even possible, but it did happen…). I watched as their husbands encouraged, held, fed, hydrated, massaged, lifted and carried them.

I do not know if I can accurately express here what I heard and felt as these two mothers cried out for their children. Literally, calling/crying out their child’s name, begging them to be born through tears of pain and suffering, both having been in labor over 36 hours. Tears welled up in my own eyes and my body ached with compassion and empathy for them. Wrought by their agony, my spirit and soul were moved as their voices pierced the night air. I stood in front of both these women, I felt helpless to ease their suffering or bring forth their infants, and I was….

The veil between heaven and this earth becomes so very thin when birth is happening. The air in the rooms become thick and almost tangible, you see evidence of love manifest. A mother must give herself to labor itself, to the pain and misery that is the power of the miracle she is apart of.

Every midwife knows

that not until a mother’s womb
 softens from the pain of labour

will a way unfold
and the infant find that opening to be born.
Oh friend!

There is treasure in your heart,

it is heavy with child.
Listen.

All the awakened ones, 
like trusted midwives are saying,
 ‘welcome this pain.’
It opens the dark passage of Grace.
(Rumi)

Being with women in their most vulnerable state, midwives attend to them and often their partners during one of the most intimate times of their lives. Sometimes, when it all becomes so heavy in the birth room, I want to turn away my eyes because it is overwhelming to be witnessing these moments that belong to other people.

This profession is intense and intrusive both for midwives and the women we serve. It is an honor and a privilege albeit with personal sacrifices being common. Yet, I know this is a part of who I am and who I am called to be.

Campana: June 2011

I am happy to report the following:

  1. I have successfully made it to the west coast, (still praying that my belongings make it, hopefully by the end of the week).
  2. I have seen my two sons, daughter-in-law and granddaughter, all of which make my heart smile, reaLLy biG!
  3. I have officially come under the mission umbrella of CMM http://www.cmmissions.net/. I will have a bio page on the site in the upcoming weeks. This is such a blessing they are partnered with Morningstar Ministries and will be a great resource and spiritual covering for me.

So, for those of you wondering more specifically whats happening here goes. I am in the Seattle area for the summer and spending time with my family and close friends that are here.

I believe this is a time of preparation for me for the upcoming academic and clinical seasons. I mean 18 months of academics crammed into 3 months is no small deal, that is a lot of school in a short time and then the clinical portion to soon follow…So I am reading, a lot, to get back into the swing of reading, retaining and comprehending that information.

I am also fundraising for the next season that will include my clinical portion of education/training. So if the churches or organizations you are affiliated with are looking for something/someone to sow into I would be more than happy to welcome the help (it can be tax deductible also). Along with traditional fund raising I am looking for part-time work here in the Seattle area; looking into possibly having a showwith my artwork and Iʼm looking at a couple other ways to earn money.

Another aspect of my lifestyle is to spend much time in intercessory prayer. As some of you know one of the things I was involved with while in the Charlotte area was a house of prayer, harp and bowl worship. I also had the opportunity to be in fellowship with the leaders who were starting a prayer furnace while in Wilmington, which is now open. If you don’t know what I’m talking about well, check out these sites…

http://www.ihop.org/Publisher/Article.aspx?ID=1000058181
http://wilmingtonprayerfurnace.org
http://www.theprayerfurnace.org

The first link is to the live streaming page so you can see what harp and bowl worship looks like and
experience it for yourself. The second is the Wilmington Prayer Furnace, I highly recommend visiting
there if you live in Wilmington.

The last one is the Fredericksburg Prayer Furnace, where Leisha, my daughter, was last year for an
internship and has just moved back up there. She is also living a missional life, so if any of you want to help support her up there, by all means please do!
Houses of prayer staff are intercessory missionaries functioning in a variety of roles. They are not paid a salary so they raise their own support. They are missionaries in every way and the work they do is
intense and much needed. They are making a difference in the world. It is also biblical..for a quick history of 24/7 harp and bowl go to the link below, there are many examples throughout history..

http://internationalhouseofprayernorthwest.org/lang/en/res/a-brief-history-of-247-prayer/

You may be wondering why I am telling you about 24/7 houses of prayer, harp and bowl worship….what does it have to do with me becoming a midwife or going back to Thai/Burma and wherever else the Lord may take me? Simply this, it is at the very core of who I am, to worship and pray that is..and that is expressed in different ways for me on different occasions; My desire is to sit at the Lordʼs feet, to know Him and be known by Him; to cry out for justice for the innocent, to call out to heaven that it may invade earth, to see the sick healed, the captives set free, and yes, even the dead raised…that the sons and daughters of God would KNOW HIM. It is in the atmosphere of intimacy that I am able to hear the Lord most clearly, the place where personal history with the Lord takes place, thats where I want to be.

I desire to keep the fire on my hearts altar burning and to share this way of life with those around me, to encourage them to do the same. I pray this for each one of you reading this, that your hearts would be ignited by Him and you would burn for the Lord all of your days…..

Blessings to you all

Suzie

If you would like to see my proposal that has the detailed information regarding my studies, the plan to go overseas and proposed budget please let me know. I would be happy to email it to you.

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If you are interested in supporting me financially with a tax – deductible donations

make checks payable to (attach my name on a separate piece of paper)
CMM
PO BOX 7705
Charlotte NC 28241